community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
