im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
