i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
