so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
