you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we should paint friendship bongs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize