I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
