i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
