hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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