For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize