I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
