Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
