She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
