I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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