I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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