only you would photoshop your dick
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
