i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
