make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
