having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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