But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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