With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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