I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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