Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
