sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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