So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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