Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The adults are the big ones right?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
