Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
