i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
