wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
