We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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