dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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