I want you more than these girls want KFC
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
