At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
