butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
