the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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