Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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