that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
