i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
