they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
