i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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