he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
