So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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