She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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