Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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