Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize