He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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