that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
