The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
