Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
