it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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