Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
