you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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