so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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