I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
