grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
