belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
