yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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