so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
where are you?
Hypothermia
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize