that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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