i need an iv and a liver transplant
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
