Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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