She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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