he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
