is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
